3 left

I can’t quite get enough of my favorite show to bag on, the Bachelorette. It is my favorite show to watch with my wife and gage the difference in our reactions to the “romance”.  Down to three chumps so tonight should be interesting. Ed needs to go.

8:02 PM – The tease in the beginning just portrayed something going wrong in the bedroom. Please let it be Ed. Dang it Kypton is first. Here we go

8:05 PM – Treetops/Ropes course date? Seems kind of lame to me. Jil just said she wants to see some teamwork. Weird. This date reminds me of summers at Kanakuk Kamp.

8:08 PM – Leap of Faith…I think this date is better than I initially thought. I have a feeling that Jil is going to freak out. What if in the course of getting to know someone in a dating relationship you had to do these kind of things together? That might be good to see someone in this setting…..Natalie just said that Kypton is “cute”. I think that he is Natalie’s favorite, maybe even Jil’s.

8:17 PM – Jil just referred to Kypton as a “dumper” as opposed to the “dumpee” and that is what worries her. More fake talk about falling in love. I don’t buy it because it seems so uninspired.

8:19 PM – Kypton just admitted that he doesn’t deal well with “bumps in the road” that can’t be a good revelation. They both seem unsure to me. And here comes the fantasy suite, what will happen. All the dudes are jonesing to stay the night with her. Jil just said we “need” this time. You bet Jil, you bet. Followed by awkward shoots in the fantasy sweet and fade to commercial. Next up Reid.

8:25 PM – Reid just said he wanted to make out and Jil went for it, nice. I feel like he is more just her buddy. More kissing and here is the heli, how original bachelorette bring in the helicopter.  Reid compared the ride to being in heaven. Wow you have some high expectations of heaven.

8:28 PM – the pilot just said that he is an ordained minister and could marry them right now in the air. Followed by Jil saying, “let’s get this shit done”. So far that was the best line of the episode. Natalie just proclaimed that “she likes him too, I can tell.”

8:31 PM – Reid just described himself as a four year old. And when jil wanted an answer about what he would do if this was the end. Instead of answering he just started kissing her. Does it work that way? It didn’t work that way for me. I tried.

8:37 PM – Natalie is confused at who she likes more Reid or Kypton. ABC is obviously playing games with her head.  She just told Reid that she wants him to move to Vancouver, but said she could move to Philly for a couple of years. I am starting to think that this doesn’t work both ways. Jil wants it her way. Is moving to Philly for 2 years really compromise. Reid is now waffling on the commitment talk. Jil doesn’t like his back and forth. Just called him a magic 8 ball. Natalie thinks he is getting pressured. I agree.

8:41 PM – The convo ends with the fantasy sweet coming out. Reid says he is scared? Interesting, Ed would be jumping on that. Jil wants it. Here we go. Natalie thinks that Jil is too pushy. I wonder if ABC gives these people condoms, I’m just saying……………….Reid is afraid of the “L” word and Natalie says that he reminds her of herself. That sounds about right.

8:44 PM – Hello bubble bath! Are they naked? Dang it commercial………..Boo, Ed is up.

8:49 PM – I won’t lie. Ed kills me. Natalie hates him, or so she says. She also loves Jil’s outfits. Ed sure does like to rub up on her. I just realized that he reminds me of Glen Quagmire. Ed’s family calls him Richie but he prefers “Edward”. Can we fast forward?

8:52 PM – Natalie thinks that Ed’s shorts are “1970”. Wow they are way too short. Blah Blah Blah.

8:53 PM – Here we go; Ed’s parents are in Hawaii. I will now refer to him as “Richie”. The parents move “melts her heart”.

8:59 PM – Just got a peek of Richie’s butt-crack, that’s what I wanted to see. Money Shot!!! Man those shorts are Bill Walton circa 1977. His parents are a bit overwhelmed and weird.  Richie’s dad just asked “what the hell are we doing here?” His dad is really pissed off, this could be entertaining.

9:02 PM – Richie just said he would propose if he won immediately followed by I take marriage serious. I don’t think he realizes that he just contradicted himself. I get the feeling Richie is not the best with the ladies back in Chicago.

9:04 PM – Dad is crying to Jil. Don’t think dad is very good with the ladies either.

9:05 PM – Dear Richie, only David Beckham can pull off those short shorts, for obvious reasons.

9:06 PM – fantasy suite time. Richie is going to get his groove on, or at least try. Jil wants some “sexy” time. This is about to get good……something happens in the bathroom. Commercial.

9:11 PM – ABC is going way too far with this Dating in the Dark show. I am tired of seeing the commercials. Even I won’t be watching. And I watch most crap.

9:12 PM – Natalie is not buying Jil’s claim that Richie is “sexy”, me neither.

9:14 PM – This dude is supper handsy and he is selling himself hard right now. Richie likes to rub up on Jil. Here we go off to the bedroom. He just smelled his arm pit. Richie is “mesmerized” (his words not mine). Jil is in lingerie. Cue the music.

9:17 PM – Oil just got involved. Out go the lights. Lights back on. Are they inferring that Richie couldn’t “make it happen”? That was maybe the weirdest moment of the season.

9:24 PM – Chris Harrison has to be the worst host on TV……No wait what is the guys name on Dancing with the Stars? He is worse. Jil wonders if Kypton is just another pretty face. Worried that he has a wall up and will break her heart.

9:27 PM – Reid makes her laugh. They are like “2 teenagers” says Jil.

9:29 PM – Jil is worried that the chemistry is not there with Richie.  Natalie hates Richie and she reminds me of that often. Video messages to come from the guys before the rose ceremony……. After these commercials.

9:35 PM – Video time, Kypton is laying it on quite smooth. He just said, “let’s do this”

9:37 PM – Reid opens up about the commitment questions on the video. Not as smooth as Kypton but honest. Did he just say “honey bear”? Was he talking about himself?

9:38 PM – Oh Richie, just go home you have nothing good to say. You blew it in the suite. He just said, “I love you”. This guy is desperate and has obviously not dated much. He acts like it is his last chance. Probably is.

9:44 PM – Seriously ABC I will NOT watch this show Dating in the Dark.

9:45 PM – Rose ceremony. I wish I could record all of the mean things Natalie is saying about Richie right now. Let’s do this!

9:46 PM – Jil wants to talk to Richie some more. Kypton and Reid just looked at each other as if to say “really”

9:48 PM – Jill is worried about the chemistry. Richie is still trying to rub on her and saying weird things. Still rubbing. Playing with her hair. Please don’t pick him.

9:50 PM – ok, here we go…..Kypton first rose. PLEASE kick Richie/Ed the the curb. She just picked Richie. Wow Reid is out. Evidently I suck at picking dudes. Not sure what that means.

9:53 PM – Jil seems very unsure of her decision.

9:55 PM – Don’t blame yourself Reid……my wife thinks your adorable. Therefore we will never go to Philly.

9:58 PM – I can’t believe this clown Richie is still here. He just crept up on Jil like a stalker. So Richie and Kypton. Money on Kyper, right?